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Relationship Management
The fourth part of emotional intelligence is relationship management. It’s what we see every day. It’s what leaders display. Can you guide? Can you influence? Can you get work done well through other people? Can you inspire? Can you get the best out of people because you can articulate meaning here in what we’re doing?
Are you a good team member? Not just on your team at the same level. If you’re in the C-suite, that’s a team. How are you as a team player? And then how are you as a team leader? Can you handle conflicts well? Can you keep yourself calm and listen to both sides and come up with a good enough solution that both sides can accept?
Do you realize that you are in a position to help the people you lead become leaders of the future? Can you help them develop strengths? Can you coach them? Can you mentor them? Can you help them strengthen the leadership cadre of your organization going into the future?
Coaching and Mentoring
Coaching and mentoring is an essential part of leadership, and it is also part of relationship management. If you really want to help someone become better in emotional intelligence, if you want to coach them, it’s helpful at first to get a sense of what moves them. Where do they want to go in their career? Where would they like to be in five years or ten years? And then to map that against a really sound profile of their strengths and limits in emotional intelligence. And it’s where they could grow that you want to match with where they want to go because that is highly motivating.
And by the way, continual feedback on the spot is really helpful for a coach. It’s not just, you know, you’re going to tell them about it in the yearly performance review. That doesn’t really help much. What you want to do is do it on the spot. When you did X with that client, it had Y result. It would be better if you tried Z. You’re experienced. You’ve been with more clients than they have, and so you’re helping them out. That is coaching, and it’s in the moment, and it’s very specific. And it gives the person not just a critique, but it tells them, I trust you, I believe in you, I know you can do better, I’ve seen you do better in these other ways, And why don’t you try this next time that comes along?