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There are four steps to becoming indistractable. First, we have to master our internal triggers. Then we have to make time for traction. Third, we hack back the external triggers, and finally, we prevent distraction with pacts. Now, the most important step is to master those internal triggers. And we need to understand that it’s not just our technology that’s the source of our distraction; in fact, distraction starts from within. We are far more powerful than we know, that there are some simple things that we can do like mastering our internal triggers to control our attention and choose our life.
I took the advice of every other expert and book out there about managing distraction and focus, and I got rid of all my technology. I did a digital detox. I got myself a flip phone, and I bought myself a word processor off eBay from the 1990s. And I thought getting rid of all the technology would solve the problem. But of course, it didn’t. I’d sit down at my desk and I’d start working away on that word processor and realize, “Oh, you know there’s that book I’ve been meaning to read.” Or, “Let me just tidy up my desk real quick.” Or, “Oh, the trash should be taken out right now.” And I kept getting distracted because I hadn’t learned tactics and techniques to cope with my internal triggers in a healthier manner.
So, what we can do to deal with these internal triggers is to learn strategies to cope with discomfort. And there are three main strategies for coping with these internal triggers and dealing with them in a more helpful manner.
The first is to reimagine the trigger itself. If we can change our perception of that uncomfortable emotional state and explore that sensation with curiosity rather than contempt, that has been shown to be a much healthier way to move us towards traction as opposed to distraction.
The second technique is to reimagine the task itself. Now, this isn’t in the Mary Poppins way of putting a spoon full of sugar; it turns out that that actually doesn’t work. In fact, what we want to do instead is to focus more intently on the task, while looking for the variability within it. Researchers tell us that we can actually learn to “play anything.” That if we change how we imagine the task itself, we can actually find that there can be fun in the task.
Finally, the last thing we can do is to reimagine our temperament. One of the most prevalent bits of folk psychology is this idea that willpower is depletable, that you run out of it like gas in a gas tank. And there actually was some research a few years ago that found that this did occur. But when other researchers wanted to replicate these studies, they found that for the vast majority of people, they did not experience what’s called “ego depletion” — this idea that willpower runs out. Except for one group of people. According to Carol Dweck at Stanford University, ego depletion was found only in people who believed in the phenomenon. And if you were anything like I used to be, I’d sit down on the couch and I’d say, “Ugh, how can I possibly resist any more temptations?” And I’d watch Netflix and have a pint of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream to reward myself because I had spent all my willpower. Well, it turns out that was a self-limiting belief that I had told myself about my temperament.
So, what we need to do is to reimagine our temperament, particularly this pernicious belief that technology is addicting all of us, that it’s hijacking our brains. But this kind of language actually makes the problem worse. In fact, that is scientific rubbish. It is not true. And in fact, when we tell people this myth that it’s addicting everyone and it’s hijacking our brains, that there’s nothing we can do about it — guess what? It becomes true. We are teaching ourselves learned helplessness. When people believe there’s nothing they can do about the big, bad algorithms and the corporations taking over their brains, they stop trying. And so, of course, it becomes the case that when they feel they can’t do something about it, they don’t do anything about it.
For the vast majority of people, technology is not an addiction; it’s overuse. Or perhaps a distraction. But when we use that terminology, as opposed to addiction, which denotes mind control, and pushers, and dealers, and somebody doing it to you, when we acknowledge that this is just a distraction, we can begin to take personal responsibility over these issues.
So, with the exception of children who are a protected class of people and people who have a pathological addiction to a device or a drug or any kind of substance, it’s much healthier to acknowledge that this is nothing more than a distraction and distractions involve behaviors and behaviors can change.