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Play to your strengths
I’ve got some good news for the introverts out there. I want you to put out of your mind all of those visions that you have of those extroverted approaches to networking because the truth is you have the edge when it comes to connection. Introverts are better listeners. You’re taking in information, you’re processing it, you are playing on that curiosity, and learning about somebody. Introverts are better in the one-on-one, and that’s really where true connection forms. So you’re focused on just the person in front of you and having that exchange.
And another thing that people don’t talk about very often is that introverts are not off-putting. Extroverts can be fun and the life of the party, and that’s great, but sometimes that’s too much for some people. Nobody ever says an introvert is just too much, because they have a calming presence and they’re easily approachable.
And so these three strengths really put you at an advantage in being at some of these bigger events. Social and curious – one of the mindsets of a connector – doesn’t mean social butterfly, doesn’t mean life of the party. It just means being open to connecting with others and leveraging your curiosity to learn about them.
Network
As an introvert, when you have to attend these large events there are ways that you can do it and network like an introvert. One tip is just to get a job. Get an assignment. Maybe work the registration desk. When you are put in a role where you have an obligation or responsibility to talk to people, it makes it a little easier for you. It gives you permission, and it gives you something specifically to talk about. So volunteer.
If there’s no volunteer position available, just position yourself. It doesn’t have to be official. If you put yourself somewhere near the restroom, everybody’s always looking for the restroom, you could be a person who’s guiding them there. Or just put yourself in a position where people might be looking for assistance.
I always say, get there early or stay there late. And you don’t have to do both, don’t worry. But when you attend an event and you get there early, everybody at the beginning of the event is looking for somebody to connect with. And so, it’s a lot easier and a lot less overwhelming with the number of people there to get into those quick conversations. And then throughout the night, you’ve already met some people and so you have some home bases to reconnect with. And it just brings that down a little bit.
If early isn’t going to happen because sometimes work is running over, stay a little bit towards the end. Again, at that point, people aren’t so frenzied in making those connections. We’ve had our conversations. We’ve had a little practice with it. We’re a little bit calmer. You might help the organizers pack up a little bit and find ways at the end of the night to have those connection points. If you decide to do both, which I’m all for, give yourself some breaks in between. We need to just re-energize, and it’s fine to take that phone break or go outside or just extract yourself.
Ask for help
Connectors know what they want, they have a clear vision on what they’re working on, and they know how to ask for it. A lot of times people feel uncomfortable with asking. It could be the fear of rejection, it could be the feeling of being too pushy or just being a nuisance to somebody. So, the first thing is to think about why would somebody want to help you? You have a relationship, you’ve built that relationship. You’ve maybe contributed some goodwill to that relationship. Maybe you’ve done something for them and it would feel good for them to reciprocate.
The other thing to remember when you’re feeling a little uncomfortable asking for something is think about how you feel when somebody asks you and you’re able to help. It feels good. You feel like you’re adding value. You feel like you’re strengthening a relationship. Sometimes when you ask something of somebody else, you’re giving them the opportunity to feel that way, too. And we all need to learn how to ask for what we want.