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Stopping Sexual Harassment: A Message for Bystanders and Enablers, with Gretchen Carlson, Journalist and Advocate, Author, Be Fierce
Bystanders
I would suggest to bystanders that if you witness this kind of behavior that you first go to the person who is the victim in the case and say to them, I saw what happened. I’d like to help you, or, do you need my help?
Oftentimes, I think that the person who’s being victimized would feel so relieved that somebody actually was coming to their defense because as long as we’re still in this he-said, she-said era, where there’s not really direct evidence, you need those witnesses. You need those witnesses to come forward, especially if they’re men, to say, I saw that happen, and I’m defending what she’s saying is true because how many classic examples have we seen of he-said, she-said where there are no witnesses, and so we never really know unless we just believe the woman or the man if he happens to be the victim? So the bystander role is crucial.
Again, something in our society that’s very prevalent is that we don’t want to get involved. There’s been tons of research on this. People see somebody hurting or crying out for help, and they just walk away. So it’s the same thing with harassment in the workplace. People want to protect their own jobs.
And really, with this issue, they have good reason to because people lose their jobs when they come forward. I hope that that’s changing now. But I would really just encourage bystanders, if you are witnessing this, or you have seen this, to go to the person who’s been affected and say, can I help you? That would probably be so heartening to that person to hear that you cared enough to help them.
Enablers
I think especially now in this cultural revolution that we’re experiencing, I think that it is short-sighted to think that stories like these are not going to come out. So if you know that another colleague or partner is behaving in an inappropriate way, just pushing it aside is not necessarily going to keep it quiet anymore. I think it’s just so much more efficient and more honest to try to tackle this issue head-on and deal with it directly.
We’ve seen in these stories as they continue to break that usually the most problematic part of it is the cover up. I know it takes courage and bravery to say to somebody, this is not appropriate and to call somebody out potentially publicly. But that’s the way that we’re going to continue to change the landscape. I always say that the majority of men out there want safe working environments for women. But it’s the random jerks who are ruining it for everyone else.