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Reconciling Differences: An Introduction to Relational Intelligence, with Angie McArthur, CEO, Professional Thinking Partners and Co-author, Reconcilable Differences
Relational intelligence is our ability to trust, understand, learn, and communicate with one another. And we really focused it on the 1-on-1 relationships, whether that’s business owners who are going in together for a long-term haul, family relationships, or personal relationships with spouses.
Within that it’s really important for us to know these three cardinal rules that are about all relationships. And these rules actually liberate us, because without knowing them what we’re constantly trying to do is change another person. So the three cardinal rules are: (1) you can’t change another person, but you can certainly grow how you relate to them, (2) you can’t make them respect you or even like you, but you can grow how you respect yourself and how you treat them with respect, and (3) you can’t change their perspective most of the time and you can’t make them see how you’re right, but you certainly can value each other’s differences and especially value how they come to the table with different thinking.
Just knowing those cardinal rules helps us each alleviate and take back the power that we need to say, “You know what, I’m here to relate to you, I’m not here to change you. I’m not here to make you like me. I’m not here to make you see my perspective.” It helps us have a much healthier way in which we’re interacting with one another.