This content is locked. Please login or become a member.
Mastering The Confidence Code: Best Practices for Male Managers to Empower Female Employees, with Claire Shipman, Journalist and Co-author, The Confidence Code
The men we talked to – and there are some terrific male managers we talked with – are well aware that there’s a confidence gap. But in some ways it’s almost a dirty phrase. They didn’t want to address it. They don’t want to say, “we think she’s not as confident.” They’re not sure how to address it. It’s really interesting.
I think, first of all, more transparency and more conversations that involve men and women in the workplace on issues like this are really important. Second of all, there are some things managers can do – best practices – that are really interesting.
Men and women interpret feedback quite differently. Thinking about the way women who are working for you are reviewed. Women will seize on the one negative thing you say, no matter what other stuff you’ve said, and we’ll think about that for a week. Men don’t do that. We had one male manager say, “I can give the same 360 review to a man and woman, the man thinks he’s getting a promotion and the woman thinks she’s being told to leave.” So that’s something to think about.
Managing meetings is very important – managing meetings in a way that hands women a role. You tell some of the women on your staff, “I would like you to talk about this and this, and the men to talk about this and this.” So it’s not just survival of the fittest at a meeting, where you’re not actually hearing everybody. And you’re trying to create opportunities for women to grow and learn.
Some companies have found recently – Google is one of them, they have a program called The Nudge – that women weren’t applying for promotions as often as men. And in that culture you have to apply yourself, you always have to put your own hand up for a promotion. Women weren’t doing it as much. When they send an electronic reminder to women – “It’s time to apply for a promotion” – the numbers are equal. If they forget to send the reminder, the women don’t apply. So sometimes if you think about it in terms of just a nudge or a push, that’s often all a woman will need to take that chance, and frankly, it’s the same when people ask, “what can I do for colleagues?” It’s the same thing. I think as women, we tend to want to offer solace and comfort and support. You’re fine, you’re great, you’re this. Actually, often what we could do for our colleagues or our friends is give them a little push, and say, “You know what, you need to stop talking about that and just go do it.” Or, “You would be great doing this.” And the same for managers. When you help a woman see that you see her in this position, that’s incredibly empowering.