Dealing with High-Conflict People
Recognize the Patterns of High-Conflict Personalities
High-conflict personalities (HCPs) create drama through predictable behaviors, such as blaming others, all-or-nothing thinking, unmanaged emotions, and extreme actions, which can be navigated or defused by recognizing these patterns in oneself or others.
Get to Know the 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life
"High-conflict personalities (HCPs), which comprise about 10% of the population, can be categorized into five types—Narcissistic, Borderline, Antisocial, Paranoid, and Histrionic—each exhibiting distinct behaviors that create conflict in various settings, particularly in the workplace."
Use the W.E.B. Method to Spot High-Conflict Personalities
Frequent conflicts and extreme behaviors, along with intense emotional reactions—both negative and positive—are key indicators of a High-Conflict Personality (HCP), as outlined by Bill Eddy's W.E.B. method for identification.
Evaluate Your Own Personality
High-conflict people (HCPs) often lack self-awareness and struggle to reflect on their behavior, which hinders their ability to learn from their actions and maintain healthy relationships; self-reflection is essential for recognizing and altering these patterns.
Use the C.A.R.S. Method to Mitigate High-Conflict Behavior
To effectively manage high-conflict personalities (HCPs), use the C.A.R.S. method—Connect with empathy, Analyze options, Respond calmly to misinformation, and Set clear limits—to mitigate their extreme behaviors and foster better communication.
Use the B.I.F.F. Method to Handle Hostile Communications Online
Email and social media enhance communication but can lead to misunderstandings; using the B.I.F.F. method—Brief, Informative, Friendly, and Firm—helps you respond effectively to hostile messages without escalating conflict.
Drama. We all know at least one person who is constantly engulfed by it, but that isn’t just a matter of luck. High-conflict personalities create conflict through predictable, patterned behaviors. According to lawyer and therapist Bill Eddy, we can learn to recognize these patterns in others and ourselves to successfully navigate such melodramatic minefields.
Learning Objectives
- Improve your self-awareness.
- Recognize the behavior patterns of high-conflict personalities.
- Define the five types of high-conflict personalities.
- Use the C.A.R.S. method to better handle high-conflict personalities.
- Use the B.I.F.F. method to reduce conflict in online communications.