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Develop your core values
What really sets you up for success throughout the entirety of your career? It’s really your character — who you are and how you conduct your business. It’s the type of person you are today. And I think even better, it’s the type of person you want to be tomorrow and beyond. You’re always striving to be honorable. You’re striving to be trustworthy because you’ll find throughout your career that that’s the reality of relationships, success, your pathway forward in an organization. It’s all built on trust. And so that’s why when you focus on your character, you can face a challenging moment in time. That happens to all of us. Sometimes relationships can become contentious, can become a little fractured, but at the end of the day, the other individual knows that you have a strong character. They know who you really are at your core. And so that will always shine through it — everything will build from that.
Conversely, you know, when you talk to US Navy SEALS, for examples, and you ask them a question, “Would you rather bring someone into your team who is the best at what they do, but you can’t trust them, or would you rather bring someone in who frankly is quite average, but they’re very trustworthy?” and every single time they’re going to tell you, I’d rather have the average person who’s very trustworthy. Because again, you can always build on your competence. You can build on your talent. You can always learn and grow as you go. But the element of character is difficult to change.
Learn from failure
I’ll never forget, I had this opportunity to join TOPGUN as an instructor. Not only did you have to apply and you have to have a good record to support it, but you also had to go through this process called a “rush ride.” And that’s where, in my case, I flew to Fallon, Nevada. That’s where TOPGUN is, is home-based out of. And so you pick your mission. In my case, it was called dog fighting. So I was going to take one airplane, the instructor who was actually at TOPGUN would take another aircraft, and we were going to launch, go airborne. And we were going to basically duke it out and, you know, see who would come out on top. And of course you’re hanging everything on this flight because you realize that if you perform well, you’re likely to become accepted as an instructor. If you don’t perform well, then your hopes and dreams will be dashed.
And so what I found happened was kind of more the latter. I did not succeed. I got just completely obliterated by this top instructor who was absolutely fantastic. So I’m very dejected, I’m in my aircraft, I’m bringing us back in to the base. And I think pivotally what happened was, we went to the debrief and the instructor will sit there and they’re taking copious notes or evaluating you on everything, including your demeanor and the debrief. And I just kind of took it on the chin and I threw it out there pretty rapidly and said, “Hey, look at, at the end of the day, this was a mission failure. I did not, you know, successfully win in two of the three engagements.” And then we walked through each of those, I called it like it was. And at the end of this debrief, he kind of paused, clicked his pin, put it down and said, “Okay, hey, look, I think you’d be a great addition to the TOPGUN team.”
And I’m kind of shocked thinking that there’s no way I lost two out of three and I’m going to be welcomed in with open arms. But what he said that followed I thought was really important: “You’re going to grow. We’re going to bring you in as an instructor, you’re going to get better over time with your skills. What won’t change is your character. The fact that you came back here, you did not try to sugar coat it. You didn’t try to make excuses for why you didn’t succeed. You just called it like it was, you helped me learn along the way, why you didn’t succeed, and what you would do better next time. And those are exactly the types of skills that we’re looking for from an instructor at TOPGUN, we need someone who’s willing to be honest with themselves and those around them willing to make sure that they can teach effectively and, at the end of the day, just be very good about trying to take the team from where you were today to better heights tomorrow. And I think you did that. You demonstrated good characters. So, you know, you should expect to come as a TOPGUN instructor.”
So I love that story just because of the fact that, you know, at the end of the day, you may not feel like you succeeded with that specific moment in time when you face adversity, but because of your character, because of who you really are at your core principles, that will carry you forward in ways you may not even realize today.