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Dumber Versus Dumber


So how many of you have heard of Piers Morgan?  The answer is probably rather a few more than had a week or so ago. Morgan has stepped into the not inconsequentially sized shoes once worn by Larry King over at CNN. Over recent weeks it has been difficult to switch the television on in America without seeing some puff piece, usually involving Morgan, advertising the fact that he is now CNN’s best hope. Or should I say best Brit hope. In one advertorial he winks conspiratorially at the viewer; in another he is interviewed by another CNN anchor. Anchors interviewing anchors. What a strange World we now inhabit.

Piers Morgan says he won’t be boring, and you can bet that he won’t. However strange his first choice of guest for his first show on January 17th, yet another interviewer, Oprah Winfrey, Morgan has been hired for his astonishing reach into the World of show business and celebrity, and his ability to wind people up. You will either love him or loathe him.

He is already at it. Although as you will see from his twitter bust up with NY1 anchor, John Schiumo, Brit pomposity is easily punctured by a savvy New Yorker. Surely someone could have told Piers that New Yorkers don’t make easy targets!

MORGAN: Msg to New Yorkers hammering mayor Bloomberg – if we had 20in blizzard in London, nothing would move for a month. Calm down.

MORGAN: What the attacks on Bloomberg tell me is that Americans expect a higher level of service than we Brits, and usually get one. I admire that.

MORGAN: Not defending Bloomberg – just pointing out that way NYC has recovered from 20in blizzard would be deemed miraculous in UK, not disastrous.

SCHIUMO: New 9pm CNN host @piersmorgan tweeted “Msg to New Yorkers hammering mayor Bloomberg. Calm down.” Welcome to my time slot, ass. Game on.

MORGAN: @Schiumo Sorry Mr Schiumo, but a) I’ve never heard of you and b) I don’t view local news anchors with just 700 followers as rivals.

SCHIUMO: @piersmorgan You judge people based on followers? And CNN trusts you? Your ego will be your demise. And I only heard of you last month.

MORGAN: @Schiumo When a news anchor’s tweets outnumber his followers, there’s a problem John. A big problem….

SCHIUMO: @piersmorgan When a news network hires a British hack, there’s a bigger problem Piers. A bigger problem…

MORGAN: @Schiumo ‘Oi beware, my lord, of jealousy; it is the green-eyed monster which doth mock the meat it feeds on.’ Shakespeare.

SCHIUMO: @piersmorgan When a news network hires a British hack, there’s a bigger problem Piers. A bigger problem…

SCHIUMO: People! Stop following me or @piersmorgan and other pompous “journalists” might think I have credibility.

MORGAN: @Schiumo ‘Oi beware, my lord, of jealousy; it is the green-eyed monster which doth mock the meat it feeds on.’ Shakespeare.

SCHIUMO: Oh, @piersmorgan. It took your producers 45 minutes to look up a quote to make you look even more arrogant and foolish?

MORGAN: @Schiumo Are you the least followed news anchor on Twitter in America?

SCHIUMO: @piersmorgan Your obsession with followers is telling. And scary. Speaks volumes on the state of national “news” networks.

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MORGAN: @Schiumo Ssshhhh. You’ve added 100 followers since I ripped you. I’m doing you a massive favour mate.

SCHIUMO: @piersmorgan And you’ve lost all respect. It’ll be fun watching your show tank.

MORGAN: @Schiumo You’re like Stephen Baldwin and Vinny Pastore – they thought they were big shots in NY too until I wiped them in Celeb Apprentice.

MORGAN: @Schiumo Bye John. At least people will watch my show.

SCHIUMO: @piersmorgan Bye Piers. And that sound you hear is New York laughing at you.

MORGAN: @Schiumo Which is one thing it’s never done to you Schumy old son.

Plenty of infantile Willy waving here and it is arguable which, if either of them came out on top.

Actually, stop. There is a victor. Dumbed down American TV is being reinforced by a Brit.


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