Can Candidate Thou Shalt Not Catch Romney?

To call Rick Santorum a spectacularly awful presidential candidate would actually be too kind. As the Don Quixote of the Republican Party, Candidate Thou Shalt Not insists on tilting at windmills that ceased to exist long ago. Newsflash to the Santorum campaign—the GOP is selecting a presidential candidate, not the next pope. In case Candidate Thou Shalt Not is a little confused about religious freedom doctrine enshrined in our constitution, it also includes right to be free from influence of a particular religious creed.

It is painful to watch Santorum proselytize about putting the genie back in the bottle when it comes to modern contraception. It is excruciating to listen to the ludicrous explanation Santorum concocts to explain why President Obama is wrong for promoting more access to college educations for America’s youth.  

And yet even as Santorum continues day by day to break new ground in advancing the most ridiculous of notions, hardline conservative factions are thinking seriously about advocating the abandonment of Gingrich and Perry to come together to back Santorum’s candidacy from here on in as the one true conservative left in the race. Selling Candidate Thou Shalt Not to independent voters will become increasingly difficult, if not downright impossible, the more he opens his mouth.

If these utterly myopic conservatives of the Republican Party decide to hitch their wagon to Santorum, this will be the culmination of the last three years that began with Anybody But Obama, devolved to Anybody But Romney, and is now flirting heavily with the latest Republican theme for the 2012 election season, Any Christian White Man With A Suit.