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Unspoken Rules
We all have the experience at some point in our lives of joining a new team, joining a new organization. There are unspoken rules that will permeate the workplace that you’ll now enter into. And knowing these unspoken rules can mean the difference between being that high performer and that high potential, and someone who others see as maybe not getting it.
Unspoken rules are hidden expectations. They’re what your managers may expect of you but never tell you. And they’re what high performers do that they may not even realize. These are certain ways of doing things that are beyond your job description that you need to know if you want to get ahead, if you want to stay sane, and if you want to build a fulfilling career for yourself.
I’ve had a lot of conversations with leaders of organizations who will tell me, “We don’t have unspoken rules around here.” If you are working with people, there are going to be unspoken rules. I was thinking about meeting my in-laws for the first time, and I was thinking to myself, oh my goodness, how do I address so and so? Who am I supposed to have a conversation with? What do I say to them? Those are unspoken rules. And so it’s not just a matter of the workplace, it’s a matter of interpersonal interactions.
Whenever you work with someone, especially someone who comes from a different background than you, there are going to be hidden expectations. Why is it so important to understand these unspoken rules? Well, it’s because there is so much more to a job than just the job description. If you can understand the hidden ways in which people interact and the unspoken maneuvers that insiders use to be seen, be heard, and be promoted, you will build trust and unlock opportunity for yourself.
The 3 C’s
In your career, you’ll show up to a lot of different situations. You’ll show up to emails, video calls, coffee chats, meetings, one-on-ones with your manager. Well, the unspoken rule is that when you show up, people are going to be asking themselves three questions.
Question one is the question of, can you do this job well? Which is the question of, are you competent? Question two is, are you excited to be here and to grow with us? Which is the question of, are you committed? And the third question is the question of, do we get along? Which is the question of, are we compatible?
Your job and, frankly, all of our jobs, and that includes the CEO or the executive director of your organization, is to convince the people around you to answer yes to all three questions all the time.