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Emotional Intelligence (EQ)
So my definition of emotional intelligence is viewing emotion as data, data that can inform us in our day-to-day. And by striving to become more emotionally intelligent, you’re striving to understand how that data is informing you as you move through life and as you evolve. There’s such danger when you don’t have that self-awareness to become the emotion. We become anger, we become frustration, and our actions are directly fueled by that energy. And it’s in those moments that we can tend to say or do things that we later regret. And those who can leverage that data, really dive down and understand from moment to moment what that data is telling them on a personal level, I feel are more emotionally intelligent.
Capturing Your Emotional Data
So I am one who is an avid journaler, and it’s something that I dabbled in before getting sober. But after sobriety, I have discovered journaling as a spiritual practice. I am one who runs away from those difficult emotions, runs away from my signals. But through journaling, I have found an ability to express, to identify, and to more deeply understand my emotional energy. It’s the first step in letting that emotion flow outside myself. And there’s something so powerful and moving beyond just your conscious thought of, “I’m feeling frustrated in this moment, I’m so upset, I’m so angry,” to writing it in black and white, and it becomes this physical thing that I can view.
The more adept you get at separating your emotional energy from your conscious thought, the better you’re able to transform that into fuel for your better, for your growth. And honestly, I think it’s something that you can practice as well. And it’s really about building a habit. You only have to start with one sentence. Capture one sentence a day, and strive to do that for 30 days. The sentence can be as simple as how are you feeling in that moment, or where are you in that moment? And then after you’ve completed those 30 days, maybe for the next 30 days, you’re capturing two sentences or three sentences, maybe a paragraph, for the next 30. It’s a buildup.
The more that you can capture this emotional energy, you can go back and almost recognize patterns. And oftentimes, you can see an action, an activity, or maybe an individual that you’re engaged with that inspires the signaling motion that you’re experiencing most often. You can then paint a picture of a recurring signal when you’re doing a certain thing and that can help you focus attention to that area. How can I learn in this area? It seems like every time I do it, it invites anxiety. Seems like every time I encounter this person, I feel anxious. I wonder why that is? And then you can begin exploring what is that? These emotions are signaling us. And the more that you can record that data and understand what you’re experiencing when you are inspired with that emotion, you can start to grow. You can leverage it as a growth tool.