Clinical Psychologist Madeline Levine on Over-Parenting

“The most toxic part of over-parenting, I think, is when we confuse our own needs with our children’s needs. And that’s the “we’re going to Harvard.” I had a dad and a kid in my office, and they’re sitting together. The kid’s a really bright kid; he’s going to go to some prestigious college and the father’s sitting very, very quietly until the kid gets to “I’d like to go to Harvard,” at which point the dad jumps up and says, “There’s a school I would give my left testicle to get my son in to.” And aside from the fact that it’s bad form, it’s the wrong thing to do because it’s not about the kid. The kid’s got a million things he’s got to worry about; his grades and his girlfriend and his body and where he’s going to school and what he wants to be and what are his values — and he doesn’t have to worry about dad’s gonads.”

In the following clip, clinical psychologist Madeline Levine discusses an instance when one overbearing father shared a little too much information. From her Big Think interview on parenting: