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A changemaker is someone who just sees a better way and they have to fight like crazy to make it happen. They see change, they imagine forward change, and they have to make it happen. To me that’s a chagemaker. It’s someone who sees something and they want to make the change happen.
Give yourself and others permission
Self-permission is fundamental to changemaking because you have to give yourself permission to take a leap of faith that you’re going to be able to make change happen. I found in the course of my career, certainly in myself and in many people I worked with, that we all come up with reasons why something isn’t going to happen. We have these little alibis: the boss won’t let me, I don’t have enough budget, my manager will never go for that, the investors don’t like that, the board won’t like it, on and on and on. Many of them may be true, but the reality is often you peel that back and it’s people afraid to take a risk on something. You’re not going to go to a new future or something different if you aren’t willing to take a risk and admit that you may not know the answer. That to me is the fundamental step of anyone who’s looking to make change, is you have to give yourself permission, and then that ladders up if you’re leading a team.
The direction for all of us as team managers—I don’t even know if I like that word “manager” anymore—but I think the direction for all of us in working with teams is to give your colleagues permission to go figure it out. If you’re leading a team or a project, I believe your job isn’t to micromanage, as hard as that may be. It isn’t to issue check lists and have all the answers. Your job is to say: here’s the vision, come to me when you need help, don’t come to me for the answers, I expect you to have the answers. I think that permission ladders up. It starts with yourself, but I think it’s a way to build trust and a way of adaptability in an entire team.
Remember that “no” equals “not yet”
“No” equals “not yet” is one of my favorite mantras and a mental hack that was very helpful to me. Early in my career, I, like many people, worked for a classic gatekeeper boss. He had all the answers and the team got quite frustrated. We thought we had a different way—different ideas to keep us contemporary and move forward—and he said “no”. I ended up leaving that job because I thought the gatekeeper was standing in my way. What I came to realize is that gatekeepers exist everywhere, probably even in our own heads sometimes when we say we can’t do it. Out of that experience I realized there were a lot of ways that I could’ve kept going back and trying a different approach with the gatekeeper.
I learned with other gatekeepers that “no” is “not yet”. Just because you hear “no” the first time, it doesn’t mean “no” is final. I can’t tell you how many people I’ve seen in the course of my career—I’m talking people just starting out, which may be a little more understandable because you don’t know yet, all the way up to CEOs—who when they hear “no” from whatever person they’re pitching an idea to, they leave and you never see them again with that idea. And you think, you had all this passion, all this insight, someone told you “no” and you just let it dissipate? It’s gone? I had to learn that “no” is perhaps an invitation—an invitation to come back again. I had a three time rule that I would often use with different bosses I had, where I felt like I needed at least three times to go back with the idea. What I learned is two things: one is I’m testing the idea myself, I’m trying to put the right words together. Sometimes the words are wrong, the story’s not there, I’m not being clear. And I think as the manager, if someone’s coming to you you’re testing their passion. You’re testing how good an idea they think it is. If somebody’s pitching you an idea but they’re not that excited about it, you’re counting on them to go forward. I think this idea of “no” is “not yet” is a resiliency test. It’s way to say, how much do you care about that idea? How much do you want it to happen? It’s a sign of commitment to the idea.
Use disappointment as rocket fuel
Disappointment is an inevitable part of making change, of pushing for innovation, and I think we have this fantasy that you just pitch a brilliant idea, you’re fantastically suited for it, and you go forth and the idea gets green-lit. The reality is that just because you’re well-liked—your boss likes you, your team likes you, you’ve had a good track record—doesn’t mean people are going to give you blind trust that the next idea is good. People want to know what you’re prepared to do to work for it. I’ve found in myself and in people I’ve worked with that often it’s those try again moments where you didn’t quite get off on the right foot in pitching the idea, or maybe you tested it and it didn’t work, and it’s when you come back and say, I tried this and it didn’t work. I’m disappointed. Here’s what I propose to do about it.
So I think a lot of this resiliency building is a test of how you deal with disappointment. I think disappointment is something you have to accept as part of the changemaking process. I have a little belief for myself that there’s a time to be disappointed, to say to myself: “I’m really sad that the idea didn’t get bought, in the sense that I couldn’t sell it. People didn’t like it, they didn’t understand what I was saying. Am I crazy? Did I not communicate? I’m upset.” I think you have to give yourself a little bit of time to suck your thumb and say, I didn’t do as well as I wanted, but then go, do I still believe in it? Is it still a good idea? How do I take that feedback and now go back and address some of those issues, if they’re relevant? And use that disappointment as a push, as a kick in the butt to get out there. So just because you have a good track record doesn’t mean you’re going to be successful the next time. Use that disappointment as a bit of rocket fuel for yourself. Learn from it, but also say, hey, do I still want to do this? That’s how I think about disappointment and kind of using it as resiliency.